Special Car, auto, cars, vehicles

As you can see, this one's silver paint shines like chalk. It's been clocked in the left headlight. Both foglights are gone, and the front license plate hangs by a thread. The driver's door was smashed in, but it's had some gypsy body work and a little rattle-can primer added. The tires are low, the wheels are filthy, and there's enough trash inside to fill a dumpster. The windows were last washed about the time W was elected. Oil changes? I don't want to know...

There's nothing wrong with beaters. They have there own place in the transportation society. Some have charm, even. But something inside me says nobody should be allowed to make one out of a really cool/interesting/even-semi-valuable car. I know, this is America, the Land of Automotive Freedom, and people should be allowed to thrash whatever they like. But there are enough Dodge Diplomats, Toyota Coronas, and old police cars out there to pick on. A Porsche, old Vette, or '56 Ford F100? There ought to be a law, I tell ya...

Here are a few Beater Candidate qualifiers I think are reasonable:

1) Value of less than $1000

2) The cost to repair the rust or reupholster the interior must exceed the value of the car

3) It be worth more if you parted it out

4) 150,000-mile minimum odo reading; 200K is better still

5) Six cans of primer would improve its appearance

6) No really attractive woman (or anyone wearing clean clothes) would ride in it

7) Any sane person would call one of those tow-away-for-tax-credits outfits before they'd try to sell it to someone

8) You wouldn't even think of paying for Comprehensive or Collision insurance

9) Car washes are free, courtesy of the rain

10) Fine. Steal it. Who cares.

If a car passes passes all or most of these litmus tests, it's got The Stuff to be a beater. So go ahead. Wail away. But leave the good stuff for car fools on a budget.

Tell us your best Beater Car story.

What are these changes? We spoke to our sources inside Nissan for clarification and here is what they told us: essentially, "launch control" is no more -- though you'd never hear Nissan put it that way. From the beginning, it has never formally recognized the term, preferring instead the more inscrutable "VDC Off" terminology.

Nissan claims to have performed a software update to the transmission control module (TCM) with the goal of removing any real or perceived performance advantage gained by turning Vehicle Dynamics Control (VDC) off. In its place, Nissan says the update will allow the GT-R to shift smoother and accelerate faster in "normal" (VDC on) mode. As far as Nissan USA is concerned, the changes are aimed at improving the car's overall performance and boosting customer satisfaction.

What does this really mean? Let's recap. Recall that with VDC on, we found that powerbraking (applying the throttle and brake simultaneously) the GT-R would send its 480 horsepower engine spinning to roughly 1800-2000 rpm. Releasing the brake would send the GT-R accelerating at near supercar speeds -- as quick as 3.9 seconds to 60 mph as we found out last year.

Engaging "launch control," that is, turning VDC off, setting transmission and suspension switches to "R" mode, and powerbraking the GT-R would send the engine to about 4500 rpm and result in much quicker acceleration. We recorded a blistering 3.2 seconds to 60 and 11.6 sec @ 120.0 mph in the quarter mile.

Unfortunately for Nissan, plenty of controversy -- both real and imagined -- has cropped up regarding the failure of several GT-R transmissions when launching the car with VDC turned off. After much speculation as to how Nissan would respond, now we have the answer.

With the software changes, you can expect to find the maximum performance of the updated GT-R approaching what the first batch of cars could do with its VDC off. Nissan claims the retuned GT-R will be quicker than the old version in day-to-day situations such as flat-footing it from a stoplight.

While you can still turn VDC off (it's recommended only for situations when the vehicle is stuck), the idea is that there will be no real advantage to doing so. Since Nissan no longer suggests any performance gains with VDC off, why would you do so and risk damaging a very pricey transmission?

So what kind of numbers will an updated GT-R turn in now that the fix is in? You'll know when we get our hands on one, but an educated guess would be somewhere around 3.5 sec. or so to 60, and about 12 seconds in the quarter, with powerbraking launches somewhere in the 3500 rpm range.

If you're already in possession of a GT-R or are on the list to get a new one, here is what the changes mean to you:

For existing owners, expect to see a letter in your mailbox as part of customer service initiative. It will probably invite you to return to your Nissan dealer for the TCM software update and provide details as to what is involved (and if you get one send us a copy). Nissan tells us the service is free of charge and should be relatively quick.

If you're a prospective GT-R buyer, your 2009 or 2010 GT-R will ship with the update so no action will be required on your end.

Whether you're the former or the latter, know that there have been no changes to the language or spirit of the GT-R's warranty. Nissan still guarantees the performance of the GT-R provided certain guidelines are met.

More information on this story as it breaks. Stay tuned for our first full test of the newly updated GT-R - with VDC on and off.